According to the US Government there are over 2 million marriages each year. In 2011, I will be but one of these celebrations. I’ll admit that I’ve dreamed of my wedding day for a long time but now that’s time to plan my own celebration, the vivid images of roses and tulle are not so clear. I’ve been finding it almost impossible to align what I’ve always thought I’ve wanted, what I actually want, what’s available and what I can afford. Is it too much to ask to for a fairytale, modern, chic, classic, unique, fun and cheap wedding?

The first thing I’ve had to come to grips with is that the wedding I’ve always had in my head, isn’t really the wedding I want. I dreamed of a big ball gown dress, tuxedos and an elegant affair for everyone I’ve ever met. If you’ve ever met me, you’d know I’m a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl and I honestly get nervous going to formal affairs. So why did I always imagine that my wedding would be so stuffy? I think that’s what I was told that a wedding was and always thought that was what everyone did. I looked at pictures of my mom’s wedding, saw weddings on TV and took that as what a wedding is. I don’t have to make my wedding look like every other wedding. I can escape the narrow confines of the pre-planned, taffeta filled, traditional and generic wedding. Yea! But what do I do with all this freedom?

The wonderful thing that has come as of late is that any event where two people exchange vows is now a wedding. The horrible thing that has come of late is that the blueprint for a wedding is completely gone. This means I can do anything, but it also means I have to plan everything. Where do I fall on the spectrum ranging from the vintage-inspired backyard picnic to the uber chic sparkle and rhinestone dramatic soirée? I’m not Kate Hudson or Sarah Jessica Parker, so either of these scenarios doesn’t fit me exactly. What I find the hardest is taking ideas from a traditional wedding, or a causal wedding, or any wedding, and melding all these unique trends and ideas and making them into OUR wedding. How do I make it look cohesive? How do I make it look like us?

What’s helped the most so far is determining what I don’t want. So, I’ve determined I don’t want a formal, stuffy affair. So, I must want something more casual. Okay, we’re getting somewhere. I don’t want to forgo all tradition so still having a church ceremony is important. I don’t want a big bridal party. I don't want to throw a bouquet. I don't like cake. I don't want bad wedding food. Okay, this wedding is coming together. The next step that has been most helpful is defining my limits. Both what is available and what we can afford. We want a Kansas City wedding and we're paying for it ourselves. So let's look at venues in Kansas City in my price range that can hold 150 people. Then, the X factor - our priorities. The most important thing to us was the reception venue. We had one place in mind since the word wedding crossed either one of our lips. Though this space is pricey.

So we looked at what wasn't important to us that we could sacrifice. We were able to chose a Friday date because we didn't need our wedding date to be a Saturday. This made our ideal location within our budget (barely.) Like I mentioned before, I wanted a church ceremony, but we don't currently belong to a church. So looking for a place that was near our desired reception site, but we didn't have to join very much limited our options. We found a small chapel that offers simple ceremonies in a classic setting. Yes, I get my church ceremony without the stuffiness.

So by determining what I didn't want and what was actual available to me, it was pretty easy to find ceremony and reception revenues. Now, here is where I stand looking blankly at wedding websites and magazines. How do I put my stamp on this event? I mean, how many people in the past have used these spaces? The space doesn't make the event. And how do I do this all without breaking the bank? As I type this I'm still struggling with how I do all this. I have been able to prioritize a few things. The dress is probably the least important thing to me. I got my dress for $80 at a thrift store. (It was even new with tags.) We were able to use friends who happen to be professionals for photography and DJ services, thus getting a little bit of a break. I think a friend's mom is going to do our flowers. Since we don't like cake, we'll do cupcakes.

I feel like "plan" that is wedding is coming together. I have been checking things off my list. I should feel like I've accomplished something but I feel so far from know what my wedding will be. Will it be my modern fairytale? Will it have the causal elegance I want? Will it be on budget? Will it be us? And then one even bigger question - if we end up married at the end of the day, do any of these details matter?